I am Marshall Lee Bosley

I was born, Marshall Lee Grey, on July 1,1965 to one Walter and Linda, at Walter Reed Hospital in Washington D.C..

I really don’t like to talk about my childhood because it is all therapy material. I did not have a memorable or favorable childhood. I don’t like to write about it because I am not looking for sympathy, empathy, the, “I’m sorries”, etc.

I do like to use my childhood experiences as a chronological reference guide to have empathy, sympathy, for others that need an ear and need to know that there is another out there that had a similar experience and can relate. It helps people to hear that there is another because it helps them to let go of their feelings of loneliness. All my negative childhood experiences turned me into a more caring, more compassionate, and extremely loving character without the ability to enable another to continue in negative and harmful behaviors. I don’t make excuses for anything and I have a lot of moral and ethic standards and I live by these standards with integrity and dignity. I do not allow myself to sin against my own conscience by doing what I know is right because my gut is telling me or the knowledge that I have about whatever I could be able to do as wrong.

I was a hairdresser for the better part of 30 years and I was beyond good at it. I was an incredible artist at cuts and colors. I was especially great at color corrections and the knowledge to make the hair in better condition when they left as opposed to what it looked and felt like when they came in to the salon. My experience led me to mentoring young stylists and teaching them techniques for hair beyond the shameful education they received from the over priced educational institutional they attended. I was at one time the highest paid employee for the company that I worked for in all of western Pennsylvania and had the highest retail sales as well. I loved what I did with a lot of passion and I do miss doing hair today. The one thing that helped to make me so successful was my ability to hear my guest in the salon. I truly listened to their frustration with their current hair situation, I repeated back the issues til I completely interpreted and understood what they were saying to me. I would come up with a solution to their problem, explain it to them until they completely understood what I was saying to them, and then I made their and them look and feel like the million bucks they deserved to look and feel like. Today, I am still a mentor and I do the same for people at home without doing their hair. I lost my desire to build peoples egos and wanted to work to build peoples confidence and lives. So I used my skills that I learned in the salon and became a Life Coach. I love it more because Coaching has a more constructive force in the world today.

I am married to my best of 40 years. I was 54 when I got married for the first time ever. Pretty cool, I think. We met when he was 14 and I was 17. We were and will always be best friends. Now that we are finally married, we are still best friends first and then married as a couple. The reason it took so long is 1. We would get in touch somehow after high school and then go about our ways again. Every time I saw him, he took my breath away. I was always in love with him. 2. He was married two times to the same woman. This was actually a blessing to me because his kids and grand kids are now a big part of my life and I absolutely love each of them dearly. 3. He came from a very strict Christian family. As far as I concerned, the use of religion by people causes more harm than good in so many ways. It’s sad that we turn such beautiful blessings into ugliness. But, we are married now after 40 years and extremely happy. Life is gratifying.

Well, that is a short summary of my life and it merely explains a small portion of the wonderful and fabulous person that I am.

#lovetotalk #everythinggoesinablog #gettoknowme #greatconversation

I Do What is Right, Not What Benefits Me

When it comes to making decisions, I am very adamant about what is right without my decisions negatively impacting another’s life. I am also very adamant about talking about this because to many out there do not share the same thoughts and frankly, I am tired of their decisions negatively impacting my life.

There will always be the bigger picture in all that we do as humans. We have to learn to look beyond what is in front of us. There are others in the midst of events happening that can be seen but no attention is being payed to them and the infringement a decision may have on them. For instance, a friend of mine was dating this guy and had been for many years. he liked to drink and play golf and then they would all go to the bar after playing a round. When he got home after home after a long day of drinking, he was abusive toward my friend. One incident, and the last incident between them, I happened to be there and he walked up to her and slapped her in the face when he got home for no real reason what so ever. I got int the middle of it and he happened to swing and hit me in the temple area and then my head hit the corner of the entry way from the mud room to the kitchen. He took off and went to his Mom’s. I could have pressed charges and the thought tempted me because I never liked him anyway and he deserved to sit in jail. He would have too because he had a felony and an assault would have left him almost rotting there. But…two very important people were in the midst of the event and those two were more important than my taking revenge. His Mom, who’s husband had recently passed away and relied on the jerk and his Grandfather who was in the hospital and was not going to make it much longer. They both would have suffered if I had made the decision to put the jerk in jail and then it would have negatively impacted their lives.

I am not built to be that selfish and knowing that this would have eventually come back to haunt me, I did not press charges. It’s this kind of decision making that I am referring too. We think of only ourselves in these incidences and then when we are being called out to be held responsible for our decisions we want to whine about the results of our own actions. I simply tell these people, If you would learn to think beyond your own selfish desires and act accordingly, then when you are up for cosmic review of your decisions you will be rewarded and not punished. What we put out into the world, we get back 1000 fold. That is taken from the bible but there are many resources and world religions that will tell you the same thing about not doing what is right and really looking at the big picture.

I do not believe that this life is all about me. It is an international connection to all and what I choose to do will greatly impact those around me. I describe it like this, “You are the center of a huge spider web and it reaches out all around you farther than your eyes can see. Every time you respond, whether positive or negative, that energy leaves your body and surges through that web sending a wave to the farthest reaches. When that wave comes back, it will bring with it blessings or adversity depending on what you put out. Why should you expect to receive positive blessings if all you do is negatively react?”

We truly need to start thinking about what we say and do toward others if we are expecting good things to happen in our lives. We need to get beyond the shallow waters of constantly thinking about me, me, me and start to think about and see the bigger picture of decision making.

By Marshall Lee Bosley; all rights reserved

Just Chatting

I am usually in a great mood and my spirits are high, about 90% of my life and Im a very upbeat person. Lately though, and it happens to the best of people, I have not been myself.

The stroke that I had last month affected me more that just my brain. I think it did something to me emotionally as well. I have felt very numb the last couple of weeks with a deep depression on top of it. Yes, I look at my obstacles as a pathway to all things new but I just don’t feel like it. I get tired of the constant attacks on my health. I have chronic pain that I suffer through almost every day of my life and to throw a stroke in the mix just about did me in. I am suffering the residuals of it now and I am just tired. My body is tired, my brain is tired. I just don’t feel good ever. These are the days that I just feel so run down and ready to leave this life. For years now, I have felt as though I am finished living. When I am in this 10% darkness that I know comes from within me, I just don’t care about much. The love is still there. I love my husband, my sister, my friends, Lily, and Zion, and so on, I just don’t care about much of anything outside of those individual people and our pets.

I am just so tired all of the time. I know it sounds like a common complaint but mine comes from the constant pain, its all over and worse in other areas, but it never goes away and it gets to me mentally and emotionally. I cry. I cry because I am tired, I am tired of being in pain, I cry because now I have these TIA’s from the stroke on top of the constant pain. My brain hurts. The TIA’s can lead to another stroke, my Doctor has sent out the referrals for the therapist to work with me but I have heard nothing. I can’t get into neurology till Feb. 11.

When I was so sick a few years back, I thought I was going to die. Doctors would not do what they should have done to find out what was wrong with me, it was a constant battle for my life. When my life was in those doctors hands, and they were not diagnosing me properly, it was scary enough as it was. Now this stroke. Even though I am recovering from and it will take about six months, I’m just not sure how I feel. I can’t help being sad and depressed. I am not supposed to be stressed. This is stress. All of this.

I am not trying to sound ungrateful or like a whiner, I am human and I get burned out with life’s adversities. I have started counseling again, I love to go to see a counselor, it’s an opportunity to get another’s unbiased insight and get some great new techniques for surviving situations like mine or anyone’s for that matter. I believe in a healthy brain as well as a healthy body.

Every adversity that has tried to take me down has failed and this too will be defeated. It’s just going to have to run its course within me and I have to feel the emotions that I feel about it till I can get a grip and move on. Right now, it’s a huge adjustment and a new life style. I will beat this and the emotions that go with it.

By Marshall Lee Bosley

Recovery and Rehabilitation After A Stroke

Last month I suffered a stroke. I have been recovering but it has been quite the challenge. Life is different and things are very new. I am working on getting healthy, well at least my brain, I am healthy according to the scans, the blood and urine tests, and the echocardiogram.

This is a story of the aftermath and the recovery. I have noticed that my brain hurts, a lot, there’s a pressure in the front of my brain and it feels like there is more in my skull than just my brain. Some days its mild and other days it isn’t, it hurts. Sometimes it feels as though someone is trying to drill a hole in my head.

Many days I feel like I am in another world, not totally there but not totally here either. I lose focus and have a hard time concentrating and I zone out a lot. My mind just sort of leaves me and I begin to walk like I am drunk and my thoughts are though I was high on something and can’t get my bearings together. One day my husband, Shannon, saw me going around in circles out in the yard, it was because my mind was gone for a few moments and I couldn’t get my mind together.

I don’t slur my words but it may take me a bit to figure out the words I want to say. And when I type on my computer, its as though I am dyslexic and the word isn’t even close to the correct spelling. I have a hard time with comprehension and remembering things. I was already forgetful and to add this on top of that spells disaster. It’s very trying on my patience and I get frustrated which isn’t good because stress and anxiety put my pressure on my brain and that’s when I start acting more strange.

What I have been doing for rehabilitation is, I am Chantix to stop smoking. I am ready and the meds are slowly helping. I don’t want to stop one bad to pick up another. I am finally after 50 years of living, gaining weight. I finally look like I am supposed to look and I feel great body wise. I also have inherited grand babies and they can’t get comfortable to take a nap on a bag of bones. I have learned to like my heavier self because the two year old can snuggle up on my while I recline in my rocker. They’re very special to me and they should feel like they’re at their grand parents house, safe and warm.

I have also been keeping up with my weekly routine of cleaning the house and doing the laundry. I cook dinner almost every day and I try to read and retain. I can some of the time retain what I am reading but not most of the time and forget what I am told rather quickly. Which is good in it’s own way cause I cannot listen to stupidity. It gets on my nerves. So forgetting has been advantageous of not working up my anxiety and irritation.

I keep on reading and writing. It will help and I will come back stronger than I was before the stroke. I also drive but not a lot. Remembering how to get to places and then get home is great for retraining the brain functions

The only thing that I am missing is therapy. I don’t know what is going on with that but it is essential that I begin because it could cause a lot of problems for me later. It takes 6 months to recover from a stroke completely and that amount of time will determine whether I am healed or there may be room for another stroke. There is a spot, like a scab kind of where the stroke was. Around the stroke is softer tissue. The scab sometimes bleeds in the softer tissue surrounding it and that is when I am struggling with balance and disorientation. Rehabilitation will train my brain to reroute the neurons in my brain to take a different route because the old pathways are damaged from the stroke.

I am very positive about a great recovery. I want to start college at Soutwestern New Hampshire University in the summer of next year. My six month healing time will end in April and I will go from there.

I am so thankful for my husband and my sister because without them I would be taking this journey by myself. I get lost in the back yard and so I can only imagine the stress and disorientation that I would be suffering without them.

By Marshall Lee Bosley; all rights reserved 10/11/2020

“Nothing Human is Alien to Me” A quote by Cicero of a Line from the Playwright, “Terence”.

If you have never studied or read a philosophy book, my recommendation is that you do. The word philosophy comes from the Greek and it means the “Love of Wisdom”, which every human can use some on a daily basis. There are different philosophies from philosophy, one of those being psychology, but I am referring to individuals from Socrates to Martha Nussbaum. My chosen ideals of philosophy come from studying the, “Stoics” of the 3rd century B.C. Philosophy was not recorded until the Greeks and so much of the knowledge came from passing it down from century to century and living according to these philosophical ideals.

To be able state exactly the principles of the Stoics and be able to describe them in a sentence or a paragraph would be difficult. And I am not trying to do that here. I am about personal growth for all people and people today appear to have lost what it is to ethics. It could be that the population has grown immensely since the days of the great Greek philosophers.

Stoicism was founded by Zeno of Citium in Athens and the word stoic means to suffer through pain without complaining. Which I am sorry to say that most people complain about the simplest of daily trials including myself. This concept of living is still debatable upon the belief that people are equipped with emotions for the purpose of expressing themselves while enduring life whether suffering or not. There were lots of questions as to the possible understanding that the Stoics were hard-hearted. But from my understanding of the Stoics was that they could express their feelings without being drama queens and overly eccentric and they kept their emotions at bay and managed them with the right amount of maturity.

There are four virtues that the Stoics made their own commandments and they are: Wisdom; good sense, good calculation, quick wit, discretion, and resourcefulness, Justice; piety, honesty, equity, and fair dealings, Courage, and Moderation. The one principle that they believed in which is my favorite and I strive to live this way everyday, is to “Live in agreement with nature”. To live in the flow and accept the things in your life as they are given and make the best use of each of these gifts in daily life. They understood that most things in life are not good and to be able to deal with them appropriately and accept them as a part of life, then the other things in life will be easy to handle as well. There are going to be healthy and sick, wealthy and poor, and so on and that each person must evaluate their own life according to the nature of their situation. Are you rich by infringement? Do you worry to much about the things you cannot control? Are you wasting time with these uncontrollable desires? Life is something that is to be valued and savored for the blessings of everyday and should not be wasted on envy, jealousy, hatred, and so on. These are considered to be bad and create an infringement on yourself and the people around you.

Many of these I have learned and live by day to day. I don’t waste time worrying about the Smiths and the Jones’. I don’t know these people and they may have obtained their wealth and materials through some sort of “unnatural” means or infringement upon another. If I have it, and that could be anything, it is because I was found favorable to have it. I earned it in someway. Just by working to be better every day than I was the day before and wanting to do good and release blessings upon another, that is in part what it takes to earn things without interruption in the flow of my life.

Philosophy is a wonderful way to understand many of the questions that many people have asked for since the dawn of time. It also adds to the purpose and quality of life that one can live and enjoy. The Stoics were big on living happily and that to them was the ultimate goal for life, to be happy. Pick up a philosophy book and get yourself some happy.

By Marshall Lee Bosley; all right reserved

What Did You Say?!

Communication is absolute. There are no if’s, and’s, or but’s about it. We as humans really need to understand that the phrase, “I am only human”, refers to all humans. I can no more read another’s mind as the one that is making the remark. If there is something that a person needs to say, say it, and if the person reacts as you would have expected in an irrational and immature way than so be it. It’s not the communicators problem. It is for the receiving end of the conversation to grow up and take it, and the communicator need be rational and mature as well. Everything about a relationship with another human is a two way street and there are no exceptions to this rule.

Even if one is a great communicator, that person is still human. Everyone makes mistakes, everyone has days when they feel a different sort of way about their day, everyone has a history with negative experiences, and we all deal with them the best we now how on an individual relationship with self. The difference is that one of the humans is hopefully in control of the only thing in this life that a human is in control of and that is how they respond. Response is everything and sets the tone for results.

The problem with today’s society and what I am writing about is that most of the human species is not willing to take responsibility and be accountable for their actions. This is detrimental. We make claims that we have “advanced” but yet we cannot communicate with one another.

Before you approach a situation that you want to discuss, make sure that you are calm and willing to leave out pettiness and a desire to insult and make accusations. A mature human looks for resolve.

Never continue to engage in a heated conversation. To fuel a fire only leads to arson and you don’t want to be an arsonist because that will leave you just as guilty as the victim. Never be the one to start the fire either. If you decide that you want to engage in a heated argument then at least be responsible enough to acknowledge later that you started it. It’s all about maturity. Whether you think you are responsible or you are not, you are and again there are no exceptions to this rule. I would love to live in a world of peace but humans will always want to wage war against another even if it be to continue telling themselves the lies that justify inappropriate behavior concerning a mere conversation.

By Marshall Lee Bosley; All rights reserved

Salt River, Arizona Wilderness Area

This river is unique because in one direction the river is lush and green and then in the opposite direction it is desert. The day that Shannon and I went there were several fires that already burned and still more burning. In the pics above, you can see a rise of smoke. That wasn’t there when we started but it did start and just kept getting bigger. It was interesting to watch.

Salt River Wilderness Reserve is of course a protected park for the wild mustangs that freely roam Arizona. They are protected because they too are becoming extinct due to people shooting them needlessly. Before Shannon and I had left Arizona and returned to Pennsylvania, there were 16 mustangs and counting that were shot and left for dead in there nearby desert area. This is the kind of waste of our natural resources that is putting our entire planet in jeopardy. When these wild and beautiful creatures of land and sea are extinct people, so are we!!!!!

Feeling Mental?

Understanding mental health is the way we are going to change society. Mental well being is just as important as physical well being. The fact is that they two of them are inseparable. Without mental well being there is no physical well being.

The affects of mental illness on society can range from physical, mental and substance abuse to perpetuating negative societal perceptions. We as a society must learn to see and understand that that physical and mental illness are two in the same.

More often than not, mental illness begins in the immediate family home. The affects of rejection, attribute to mental issues such as abandonment, the negative way in which an individual will grow up thinking about them self, live with social anxieties, and then these issues as well others will carried like “baggage” into relationships and then possibly with a new family a new cycle of patterns is created.

Getting the proper treatment involves psychiatrists and medical doctors realizing and accepting that mental illness is the cause of many physical ailments and they need to be treated properly as inseparable. When mental illness is treated appropriately then physical ailments are reduced.

As far as teens go, when they are treated, they can be taught that what they are feeling is a reaction to what they are learning in their environments and they can control their responses to stimuli. This will inevitably change our society in a positive way.

Adults as well can change the way they respond to stimuli by understanding what triggers this particular response. Being aware of the fact that they have triggers and what the causes of those triggers are will ultimately help them when responding. We cannot ever control anything but how we respond. I have had individuals tell me that they want to learn to control their thoughts and emotions. This is impossible. If we are angry or happy, these are emotions, we are human and being angry or happy is built in us, but we are able to control how we respond to these emotions. What ever emotions we are experiencing is a response to stimuli in the brain.

If all people of all the world understood that being of sound mind would solve many of the worlds problems and that seeing a mental doctor is just as important to maintaining mental health as seeing a physical doctor for physical health, that would also reduce the amount of problems a society and the world would have to deal with every day.

Seeing a counselor, psychiatrist, psychologist,(which the two are different, one studies the body and one studies the mind), life coach, life mentor, etc., all are people who can help maintain sanity in society and well being in the world.

By Marshall Lee Bosley; All rights reserved

Montezuma Castle National Monument

The Sinaguan Indians built this monument around the 14th century A.D. They were a peaceful who lived in the 20 room clay and mud construct for around about 700 years. The Castle was not only where they lived but they also community meetings, stored crops, and seeds, worked, and even buried their dead.

The were hunter gatherers and they were a simple people that used their natural resources to make tools, spin cotton, they were master spinners and weavers, and they grew squash, beans, and corn.

Just like the Apache Indians at Tutzigoot, no one knows for sure why the people of this spectacular castle abandoned it. Most likely because of environmental changes, over population, disease, and famine.

Tutzigoot National Monument in Clarkdale, Arizona

Tutzigoot is the Apache word for, crooked creek, the inhabitants occupied a pueblo above the Verde River, from about 1100 to 1445 A.D. The construct had from 90 to 100 rooms and the rooms where people had used to cook still had the open fire pits still in them. The architecture is strong and amazing. I really enjoyed this site. The “Tonto Apache” had trade roots and traded minerals for hundreds of miles around. They were an agricultural people growing squash, corn, beans, pumpkin, and cotton.

Archeologists are not sure as to why the people of this construct abandoned it, but many of them do believe that the possibility is drought of the Verde River, times change, and even disease forces them to move from their home and inter-mingle into new tribes.

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